Ah! The comfort zone. It’s the place we stay because it’s the easiest thing to do, the place we crave when we aren’t there, the place people are always telling us to leave. Why? Because “it will be good for you!” Ugh. While I agree that stepping outside of our comfort zones can and often does open up more opportunities, that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
I was such a shy kid, preferring to listen to conversations going on around me rather than engage in them. Better than that was hiding away with my nose in a book, so I wouldn’t have to talk. Especially to adults. I just didn’t like to be the focus of attention. If I could have made myself blend into the wallpaper, I would have. But at some point, learning to relate to people becomes very important, hence the need to step out of our comfort zones.
Beyond preferring to listen rather than talk, I had a difficult time being the center of attention for other things too. Piano recitals and public speaking were the worst. Book report or class presentation days had my stomach tied in knots from the get-go. I flat-out dreaded the spotlight. That was more for my siblings, who seemed to thrive in it. But as a teenager, when my parents said, “You need to get a summer job,” those knots in my gut returned, twisting their way into every part of me.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mind the work. I was definitely a hard worker. I’d had babysitting jobs for years and enjoyed it. I even did a summer of volunteer work, but the idea of being behind a counter addressing customers, taking orders, making sure I got the order and money transaction correct was a HUGE step out of my comfort zone. Working in fast food was pretty much a rite of passage back then because there weren’t that many jobs available to teens. So, I got a job at the most famous of them all, the one with the golden arches. I can say now, that despite the burn scars on my arms from the fryer, I’m glad I did it because it helped me gain confidence in myself. I realized most people were more patient and kind than mean and nasty. And they certainly weren’t overly concerned about me. Maybe it was just a baby step, but I did it and it gave me courage to take on the next big thing.
Fast forward a few decades. I feel like my teen self again. Well, let me clarify, because I WISH I was talking about my joints. I’m talking about how I feel taking on this new endeavor of writing and marketing myself. That is WAY outside my comfort zone. Like 20 miles outside of it! It feels like I’m putting myself behind that counter again. I just want to write, but in this era we live in, everyone who wants to call attention to their work, whether it be writing, art, music or business, has to promote it themselves. So, here I sit, spending more time on marketing efforts these days than finishing the second novel I’m writing because my book won’t sell itself. And it is terrifying to open myself up like that.
I always hear, “Your book could be really good, but if no one knows about it, it will just sit there.” Double ugh! My proofreader told me just the other day that I “have 100% written a page-turner” with Hidden by These Walls. So, that gives me confidence that it’s not just me who likes the book! Now I just have to get into the hands of readers through marketing. I’ll cross my fingers that it’s working. Meanwhile, I’ll keep plugging away and hope the twisted knots in my stomach will decide to take a vacation.
Have an awesome September!